


Can't Say Love

by chasingwonder (cumbercrieff)



Category: Hunter Hayes (Musician), Hunter Hayes - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cumbercrieff/pseuds/chasingwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunter has met the most fascinating girl, but is left struggling for more from their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Say Love

I knew she was coming down the street before I saw her. I could tell from the reaction of the people nearby – especially the males. One woman tapped her boyfriend on the back of the head for staring at her. I wasn't surprised though. [Y/N] always dressed for attention, she liked people to look at her and acknowledge her. In fact that was one of the things that first drew me to her. She was confident in her own skin, but she was happy as well. Out of all the guys that she had fawning over her, she had chosen me. People had said it was because I was “famous” or something. But I knew she loved me, even if she'd never said it. She didn't seem like the type of girl who'd been in a real relationship before, mostly just flings and one night stands. I had no idea how though, she was a real catch. She was intelligent, kind-hearted, caring, independent, thoughtful and beautiful. She came into my field of vision as I waited outside the café down a couple of blocks from her work. She was wearing a tight red dress that clung to her curves perfectly. Every inch of her was hugged by tight body-con fabric. She still looked classy even though the neckline was exceptionally low revealing a lot of cleavage, the hem line of her dress sat at her knees while high plat-formed black heels carried her frame along the side walk. Her long brown hair was down and had been curled into soft waves that rested against her shoulders, her eyes hidden in a pair of large sunglasses to shield from the summer sun and her lips a shade I couldn't really decipher but they looked perfect. When she noticed me she waved, causing some of those staring at her to turn to me, and either glare in jealousy or nod at me with congratulations. I ignored them though and waved back, standing up from the table I was seated at. She pace quicken as she got closet to me and her smile grew wider. When she got to the table she sat down straight away and took off her glasses revealing her long lashes. She batted them at me before motioning to the seat, ordering me to sit down. She took a deep sigh as she crossed her legs under the table, her foot lightly gracing my leg as I sat down to face her. I was about to speak before the waitress came outside and look our lunch order. I ordered first as I'd had time to peruse the menu while waiting for [Y/N] to arrive. The waitress smiled at me, a pretty, petite, blonde girl, before turning her attention to [Y/N] looking less than impressed by her. Jealous, I thought to myself. Most girls are. They can't stand the fact that she is confident in her own skin, and is happy to dress the way she does and act the way she does. Its endearing for someone to be so comfortable with themselves, although I will admit sometimes I wish she would show her more vulnerable side. She's super-hero strong but its the type of thing that will be her downfall eventually. I watched her as she browsed the menu finally deciding on her order. [Y/N] smiled at the waitress as she wrote down her order, but she didn't smile back. She turned quickly and hurried back into the café. Finally, we were alone again. I looked at her as she took an inhale as if she was about to speak.  
“Fuck, it's a bit hot isn't it.”  
I laughed, probably too loudly, at her mock joke and nodded as I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt.  
“You're telling me! So, how's your day been so far?”  
We worked through the small talk, she told me about work and how her boss had been stressing her out, on getting some report done. I didn't really understand what she did properly, I mean I knew she worked in fashion and she was somebodies personal assistant. For most of the day she just had to stand around look attractive, or run around Nashville and pick up their errands, but the bigger details I didn't really understand. Fashion wasn't exactly my strong point though. I smiled, and nodded and listened to her talk her stresses out as our food came out. The waitress gave her a snide look when she put down her order and looked surprised when I had caught her and frowned. [Y/N] hadn't noticed though. She carried on talking about finally getting away from that place and opening up her own boutique. I'd seem some of her designs and they were incredible, it was something she could definitely do, but she was scared. She hadn't said, but it was obvious every time she had the chance to do something she wouldn't.   
“So, I saw a small shop that was selling.. It wasn't anything fancy though but I could definitely sort it out to look special. But, it's a bit pricey, the location is great though..”  
She trailed off and she ate, looked like she was pondering it seriously for a second, but then she shook her head.  
“Anyway, I've been rambling on forever, how has your day been?”  
I sighed, since finishing up touring I'd been planning on writing but I hadn't really had much inspiration for it recently. I hadn't actually woken up til noon today, and I had to rush into town to meet [Y/N].  
“Oh you know, the usual..”  
She smiled knowingly.  
“Slept in til noon again then?”  
She raised her eyebrows at me and I laughed, my cheeks turning a slight shade of a pink. I never understood how she could do that. Read me so well that is.   
“You know, theres plenty of stuff to write about.. Just try to find inspiration from anything.. Like..” She shifted in her seat craning her neck to look around us. “Over there!”   
She pointed at a couple on a bench across the road from us. A fairly elderly couple who had taken a break to sit in the sunshine together. They weren't speaking, or looking at each other however, they might have even known each other. She noticed the doubt on my face and started to prompt me.  
“They obviously don't need to speak to each other, or look at each other to feel the love between them. It's something thats.. spiritual, and emotional. Not just physical. It's really beautiful actually.”   
She gently sighed and smiled at the couple who stood up together and held hands continuing their saunter along the pavement. I reached across the table with my hand and drew her face to mine, planting a kiss on her lips. It must have taken her by surprise because she sunk into it right away. Normally, she was fairly reserved, she didn't like to lose control with me. I pulled back before she had the chance to and noticed her blushing. That was a first. Just then the waitress came back to the table with the bill and left in a hurry again. She checked her watch and grabbed her bag.   
“I really should be getting back to work.. I've got a lot to do.” She sounded a bit shaken as she spoke obviously taken aback by my forwardness. I chucked some notes at the tray with the bill and stood up, ushering her as I went. I went to kiss her goodbye, but she jutted backwards. She strained a smile at me and rushed away leaving me standing by the table as the waitress came back to collect the payment. 

Me & [Y/N] been seeing each other for about 3 months already, but it's been pretty casual. We hadn't actually said anything about the definition of what was going on, and whenever I tried to bring it up she wasn't having any of it. She didn't talk about emotions, or feelings. In fact the closest I got to seeing her let go was in the bedroom. Which happened surprising quickly actually.. The point was I didn't really know what we were but I knew she didn't want to get in too deep. I'd tried suggesting something before but I never went well. She either brushed it off as a joke or left abruptly like she had the café that day. Normally, I wouldn't have minded too much. With girls I was usually fine with being casual (not so much with the casual sex, but she was really hard to say no to), but with her – it was different. There was something about [Y/N] that made me feel.. Well she made me feel. Something I never had before. It wasn't the way she looked, or dressed, or the things she did late at night that sent my mind and body soaring. It was the way she talked about her dreams, or the way she supported mine. She was so kind. SO kind. And despite having a rock-hard exterior I could see it. We had a date planned for the Friday night, just a standard meal (which usually resulted in her ending up back at my place), but I decided to surprise her with something else.  
I rolled up at her apartment in my car, honked and waited outside, I looked up to her window and saw her shadow moving in the back light as she glanced to the window and saw me. Even her outline was gorgeous, she was the perfect hourglass and she knew how to dress to show it off. I waited a moment, checking my hair in the wing mirror before she turned up at the door. She looked astonishing as usual. A black dress studded with sequins panels hugged her figure, this time her shoes shone, bright pink velour looking heels. She began to walk over to me smiling but frowned when she noticed what I was wearing.

-Your POV-  
Was he joking? My gaze ran up and down Hunters body as I moved towards him. He was dressed in what looked like his scruffiest jeans and white short sleeved t-shirt. I was so confused I stopped walking in the middle of the road and Hunter ran to me to pull me out of the road of an oncoming car.  
“What the heck is going on?”  
He chuckled to himself, and I continued to frown. Was he making fun of me?   
“Hunter? What the fuck?”  
“Oh, hey! I just thought we'd change it up for a bit today? Instead of doing the same thing we've done every Friday for the past 3 months huh?”  
He smiled and me and took my hand, but I grabbed it back from him. He looked surprised, and slightly hurt but he suppressed it and continued to speak.   
“I'm not telling you where we are going.. but you might wanna get a bit more casual and comfy. I'll wait here.”   
I was still pretty confused, but I didn't wanna let my guard down in front of Hunter so I smiled at him and stalked back to my apartment. As soon as the door to the main building closed I ran up the stairs into my actual home and slammed the door behind me. I had to keep it together. 3 months, I'd been in control and didn't let these feelings bubble over. But in this past week he'd kept surprising me. That kiss at the café, and then he'd sent a few pretty graphic texts throughout the week telling me how much he missed me. One was a picture message.. and now this. I never had him pegged for a guy like that. But then again I don't remember ever being with someone as long as this for a long time, so I assumed things were bound to change. I couldn't get that off my mind, as I ransacked my wardrobe pulling out some denim shorts and a red tank top to throw on. Normally by this point, the guy had gotten bored of me, and moved onto someone else. Someone with more than legs and lips to spend their time with, but not Hunter. He tried to talk to me about stuff, and I felt like I could talk to him. Like I didn't have to pretend to be a bimbo like with other men. He valued my intelligence and didn't think of it as a hindrance to get me into bed. In fact he seemed pretty taken aback when I tried to invite him back to mine after our first-date and it had been about a month until we finally had sex. I'd never played a relationship like this before, I liked to be in control and have it go my way. It was the easiest way, and the safest way. I knew it was only a matter of time before I sabotaged this relationship as well though.. A sudden car horn awoke me from my daydream as I grabbed a pair of converse, wiped off some of my make-up leaving me with bare lips and almost naked eyes and walked back down to Hunters car. I had never dressed like this in front of him, or anyone in fact. I don't even know why I did what he told me too. 

Hunters POV -  
She walked out of the door and I stopped. My body froze. I had never seen her like this, she looked like a different girl. My word, she was so beautiful. Her long brown hair tied up in a bun on her head, revealing her neck. I glanced down and noticed she wasn't in her trademark heels, but a pair of converse. I hadn't ever pictured her owning anything but heels, never trainers. She gone for shorts, that were pretty tight on the legs but they clung to her thighs making me a bit hot. It got worse when I noticed her red tank top had a very low neckline, her cleavage bobbing with her body as she walked over to me. I tried to draw my gaze up to her eyes as quickly as possible so she wouldn't notice me looking at her chest.   
“Ready?”   
I smiled at her and walked around to open the door for her. She looked a little taken aback, as she always did when I opened doors for her, pulled a chair out for her or held a hand out to help her down steps. Things that I thought every guy did. Apparently not. She smiled at me though, when she was sitting down, like she really appreciated the gesture and I got into the drivers seat and off we went. I hadn't told her where we were going, I wanted it to be a surprise but the closer we got I couldn't keep it a secret anymore. We made light small talk in the car, she briefly mentioned the texts I sent her in passing which made me blush slightly. She was so bold and open about sex, and stuff like that. I was a little more reserved but I decided to give it a go with those texts, I couldn't deny I'd felt really embarrassed but it seemed to get a good response from her. Her voice faded off and she looked out of the window and noticed the water in the distance as the car travelled along the highway following the sand. She turned to look at me, her eyes wide and she opened her mouth like she was going to speak but she just smiled and glanced away back to the window. I turned down a dirt path into the darkness of the night and parked. She looked at me with her brow furrowed in confusion, it must have seemed like I'd driven her to the middle of nowhere, but followed me out of the car. I walked towards her and grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly before she had a chance to pull it away like she normally did. She flinched slightly, as if her normal reaction would be to run a mile from this, but she let me hold her hand, even though her arm felt tense. We walked in silence as I led her down a path into darkness, but dim lights began to shine through the branches of the trees around us as we got closer to the sand of the beach. She craned her neck trying to see where it was coming from and slipped on a rock from the pathway letting out a small squeal as she went down. I instinctively dropped to her aid checking if she was okay, I scanned her face for any sign of pain but she burst out laughing right in my face and I couldn't help my laugh along.  
“Wow, I didn't realise I was so graceful” she muttered to herself as I pulled her up. She wiped herself off and took my hand. I took a sharp inhale of breath and smiled at her. She'd never done that before, held my hand willingly. She smiled back, a bit uncertainly but a smile none-the-less and we carried on walking down the path, treading more carefully. As we passed through the shrubbery and arrived at the beach she let go of my hand and gasped.

-Your POV-  
I couldn't hold back my shock. I looked at the beach and what he'd done and I honestly thought I was gonna cry. It was beautiful. He'd set up some sort of decking and put a table with 2 chairs on it. The decking had 4 posts, and he had hung what looked like fairy-light lanterns all around it to give off light, but there was also candles around the table, as well as one on it, and white roses in the centre – my favourite. I turned to Hunter, his face hesitant waiting for my reaction. I bit my lip and grabbed his hand dragging him towards his masterpiece. I stood at the steps leading to what he had done for me. All for me. This was incredible. I felt his arms fit around my waist as he held my from behind looking at the picture in front of us.  
“So.. What do you think?”  
“Hunter.. It's.. incredible.”  
“So are you.”  
I turned to face him, still in shock and he placed a hand behind my neck pulling me in for a kiss. It wasn't the kind we normally shared, heated and passionate. Lust filled kisses with one thing in mind. It was like the one at the café that day. A kiss with love behind it. I pushed away from him in shock. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for any of this. Hunters face fell as he gauged what I was thinking.   
“[Y/N]..?”  
He moved towards me but I kept pushing back. We both froze when a noise came from the shrubbery behind us. Sam, one of Hunter's band-members, emerged dressed in a ridiculous “waiter” outfit. He smiled at us, his face clouded in confusion when he felt the tension in the air. He took one look at Hunter, who shook his head and turned back to walk away. We heard him mutter to the others to wait for a bit. I looked at Hunter, with anger in my eyes. I can't believe he organised all this without telling me. I didn't know why I was angry but I was. He started towards me again but I pushed away and walked right past him. He grabbed my arm but I shrugged him off and he didn't try to hold on. I don't think he expected me to keep walking after I realised he was my only way home. But I did and I heard his voice, faint in the distance calling me. Growing closer as he ran after me.

-Hunter POV-  
I sprinted through the bushes calling her name. I can't believe she had just walked off like that. I was so confused. What did I do wrong? All I did was try to show her I cared for her and she looked at me like I tried to murder her whole family... I didn't understand but I needed to know. I caught up to her pretty quickly as she had just walked away from me, we were pretty close to the car actually.  
“[Y/N]! Wait!? Where are you going? Whats wrong? What did I do? I don-”  
She cut me off by turning around and placing her hand in the air.  
“Hunter. I don't want this. I don't want this magical, fairytale bullshit. This isn't how I play it okay. I don't want this stupid fake crap. If thats what you want in a girl, I'm not the one for you.”  
I looked at her, she had tears in her eyes but she tried hard to shield it from me, dipping her head. I didn't really know what to say, but I knew she didn't mean it.  
“I'm sorry. I just.. I wanted to show y-”  
“Well don't.”  
“Aren't you even going to let me finish?”  
I didn't realise how sternly I had said it until her head jerked up towards me, her eye dark with emotion. At least she'd finally responded to me.  
“I wanted to show you, how much I care for you. I'm sick of this.. Whatever this is that we are doing. I don't care if this isn't how you “play” it – whatever that even means – I'm doing this for you and you are gonna like it.”  
I've never spoken to a girl like that before, I usually let them have whatever they like, do whatever they want. I want them to be happy and I'd do anything to let that happy. But with [Y/N] I couldn't figure her out. What did she want. Why wasn't she even bothering to try? She still hadn't spoken, she just stared at the ground, shuffling her feet on the dirt. I took it as a sign to carry on.  
“I want to hold your hand, and kiss you. I want to treat you like a princess, even if this isn't a fairytale. Because you deserve it. Yo-”  
Then I hit me. She was doing this because she didn't think she deserved love. She looked up at me as I'd stopped talking abruptly. I'd finally figured out this hard exterior. She didn't want to get hurt.  
“.. come back and sit with me. Please?”  
I said softer and picked up her hands in mine. She narrowed her eyes but let me lead her back down past the boys, who had offered to help by serving us food and playing music in the background, to the decking I'd spent the whole morning building. I thought it looked pretty good myself. She was still silent as I lead her up the stairs and pulled out her chair motioning for her to sit down, which she did with her hands in her lap. She didn't look comfortable, she didn't want to be here but I was sure as hell not gonna let her leave again.

-Your POV-  
I felt like I was going to burst out crying at any moment. I couldn't look at Hunter. I felt embarrassed but at the same time I was still angry. Not with him but with myself. I was normally so careful but not getting involved in a “relationship”, casual was easier. It just a quick fling without emotions. I didn't do emotions and feelings. They weren't my cup of tea really. I preferred light and everything with Hunter just got majorly heavy. I wanted to tell him, everything about my past but I couldn't. So I sat in silence, watching him as he tried to act regular, forcing normality upon the tense atmosphere.   
“[Y/N] …?”  
I heard him whisper, almost as if he didn't want me to hear it. I looked up not making eye contact with him but I scanned his face. He looked worried. I think he thought he'd fucked it all up. But in fact it was me who had, who always did. I opened my mouth to speak, I wanted to tell him everything to put his mind at rest. As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself I cared about him, a lot.  
“This is so fucked up..”  
It was the first time I'd ever heard him curse. Ever. He looked down at the table, and put his hands through his hair as if he was trying to wipe away the night from his mind.  
“Look..”  
As soon as I spoke his head jerked up so his eyes could met mine, but I wasn't looking at him. I couldn't face his eyes when I told him.  
“This isn't anything to do with you. I just. I don't.. I can't fall for people. It's not even that old, “I've been hurt so many times” story.. I just don't want to risk anything. Theres a lot of bad guys out there and yeah you seem like a right prince charming but I had my fair share of 'experiences' and none of them last. I don't wanna put myself out there and risk.. anything. And it's not fair you doing all this and its making me.. It's making me think theres something here..” I raise my hand to my chest, placing it over my heart. “and I just.. I can't Hunter.”  
“But you want to.”  
I think about what he said. Theres hope on his face, like his whole life is riding on this one decision to come from me. I don't get it. Whats so special.. about me? I'm just another girl. He could have anyone so why doesn't he just move on to one of them?  
“Because I don't want another girl.”   
I stop, my head swiftly moving up to meet his eyes as I realise I've just that whole thing out loud.   
“I don't want another girl” He repeats, “there isn't another a girl who can make me feel like this. Like I want to fight for her. Theres so many emotions going on inside me right now that I've never felt before and it's all because of you. So no. I cannot physically move on to another girl, because you're the only thing I want.” He stops for breath and laughs to himself. “Wow.. I didn't realise.. I.. I guess I'm falling for you pretty hard.”  
I let out a pitiful laugh, but I can't help but smile. Its gonna take more convincing than that to make me think there really is something there.. but I guess we'll see. He gets up off his chair and moves to me kneeling on the ground in front of me. He looks at me, all forlorn like a puppy and I can't help but giggle. This whole night as been so surreal already I didn't even know what else could happen.  
“[Y/N], I am gonna make a promise to you know, that no matter how much to try to fight these feelings away – whenever you're ready to accept them into your heart. I'll do the same. It's not easy for me to let this in, I mean these feelings are new and pretty scary.. and we're still kids. But I know when something is a sure thing, and this sure as hell is. You gotta believe me, you deserve love. And I want to be the one to give it all to you. Even if you can't say it yourself. Diving into something like this is pretty scary yeah, but I'll be there to hold your hand when you need someone too. Cause I know you'd rather leave alone, and forget about love. But you aren't gonna run the risk of this being wrong. This isn't nothing, this is something I promise you.” He stopped, his voice cracking in the middle. I can't believe he was getting so emotional about this. Did I really mean that much to him. I couldn't help but let a tear fall, it rolled down my cheek and landed on our hands. He looked up at me and released our hands, wiping away the tears now cascading quickly down my cheeks. He kisses me deeply, another kiss with love. He let everything out, into it pulled me closely to him and for once I kissed back, with just as much force. I wanted to give him my all, I was ready to finally, love. Even though it's scary, jumping into something like this, I would do it a million times over with Hunter. I heard a shuffle from the side of us and pulled back from Hunter and saw his band members standing in a row, nudging each other and smiling before noticing we were staring back.   
“Oh uh.. Do you guys wanna eat now?”

-Your POV-  
It'd been another 3 months since that night we're me and Hunter and spilled our souls out on the beach. I woke up that morning alone in bed, slowly dragging myself out and into the shower. As I got out I heard a noise from the kitchen and smiled to myself as I wandered through in a towel. I saw him his brow furrowed in concentration and he fiddled with pans and pots. I stood in the doorway and watched from behind as he shoulders tensed as he carefully cracked 2 eggs into a pan, trying so carefully not to get any shell it in. He did though.  
“Shit.”  
Guess I'd been a bad influence on him with the language, I giggled to myself but he heard it and flipped round to see me. His eyes grew large as he noticed I was just in a small towel, but then he relaxed and smiled.  
“Hello there!”  
“Good morning, attempting to cook again I see..?”  
I smirked at him and walked over to assess the damage. He moved slightly back to let me in front of him, but stayed close enough in my personal space so our bodies were touching. I snooped at the top of the stove, it was a mess, there was what looked like pancake batter everywhere and bits of toast and god knows what else. I laughed and felt Hunter move closer to me, his body pressed up against me from behind as he slipped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder.  
“So, am I a master chef yet?”  
“Hmmm..” I mocked as I turned around to face him, “you're on your way, but you might wanna get more of the food in the pans and not on my counters.”  
I tapped him lightly on the nose and tried to walk away but he grabbed my arm, almost causing my towel to tumble to ground.  
“Hunter!”  
I yelped and grabbed the material in an attempt to keep myself decent. He just smirked though, a dirty grin and moved towards me pulling me into a stomach-fluttering kiss. It was far too early in the morning for this much excitement so I pulled away trying to hide my arousal.  
“I think you need a coffee mister.”  
“Hmmm.. I think I know what I need...” He tapped my bum but didn't pursue it, what a gentleman. I turned around pretending to be shocked and he winked at me as I walked towards the bedroom to get changed for breakfast.


End file.
